Hello everyone! I am so excited to be writing my very own blog! I have been wanting to write one for a few years, but I honestly haven’t had the courage until recently (thanks Kathy!). I have so much to learn about the blogging world, but I know it will be a fun process. I look forward to having this therapeutic outlet for myself, but more importantly, I hope to encourage or help someone (somehow) along the way. I will say that this is NOT a "Mommy" blog (even though today's blog is about parenting). I hope to share about many different topics that we encounter on a regular basis. The title “Help Yourself” is self explanatory and sounds a little selfish, but I truly believe that once we help ourselves first, everything else falls into place!
Have you ever had a day where you just over-thought and over-analyzed just about everything? You knew at the time that you needed to just drop it or let it go because it seemed trivial, but you just couldn’t. This was my struggle this WHOLE week. Thinking WAY TOO MUCH. I’m talking about thoughts and worries on top of normal thoughts and worries. These thoughts listed below are normal for me and I could probably think them in a 10 minute span.
1. Do we have eggs?
2. Does the dog have water?
3. I want some girl time pronto.
4. What am I cooking for dinner?
5. Did I text everyone back?
6. I need some wrinkle cure cream. Does that exist?
7. Do I have any errands to run?
8. I want to travel somewhere.
9. Ugh, I need to clean the floors.
10. And when I can’t think of anything, I naturally make myself think of something I need to do.
Getting a tattoo just got a little tempting...
I’m not sure if the week has been like this because my mind has been more idle than usual or if it’s hormonal (always a good excuse) or if it truly is something meant to bother me this much so I would do something about it. Overall, it was a mentally exhausting week.
Most of you know that my husband and I were blessed two and a half years ago with a little boy named Edward. He is the apple of our eyes and has brought so much joy to our lives. I could go on and on about why we love him so much and how he can be the sweetest, most loving & fun child we could have ever imagined having all to ourselves. I am still in shock and probably always will be that God has allowed and equipped me to be a mother.
But, let’s be real. Being a parent is challenging. The toddler age is tough. Not knowing all of the solutions is frustrating. I realized this past week that my expectations have been unrealistic for Edward's behavior, especially in public. Besides the teenager stage, being a toddler is one of the most, if not the most difficult age he will experience in his entire life. Here are a few reasons why:
- He can’t completely communicate what he is thinking or how he is feeling.
- He has to share all of his stuff.
- His happiness and contentment in the afternoon depends ON….THE….NAP.
- So many more reasons!
One of our highest privileges as parents is being one of the few people to see our children’s most precious moments.
Do we teach him to have manners and be loving? Yes! Can we control his emotions? NO! Yes, we can correct him when need be, but it is a fact that he IS going to have “moments” at home or around friends/family and that is ok. He is a human after all!
I am always taking advice from friends and family about all kinds of things. How do we grow without applying what we learn from others? Here are a few paraphrased words of advice I have soaked in recently about parenting toddlers. Pretty profound.
- Jena- When talking about how her son didn’t want to leave the house… “They are just like us and have mood changes like we do.”
- Mom- When telling her about Edward‘s tantrum in frustration: “He is not going to act like that forever”.
- Crystal- "If my child’s behavior now was indicative of how she will be as an adult, she will be a screaming streaker.”
You’re my boy Blue.
In conclusion, a few ways to help yourself when having these moments of excess thoughts and worries is to talk to someone and/or keep yourself busy. An idle mind is usually never a good thing, so fill or distract your brain. Write in your journal. Go for a run. Make a phone call. Go for a drive in your car and listen to Right Said Fred if you need to. Do what it takes.
Another way to help yourself is by identifying your expectations for others . Are they too high? Do we expect too much of our husbands, our parents, children or are friends? Do we sometimes expect more of others than we do ourselves? If we do, we need to stop and identify this as a control issue. Let some things go and lose some control. You’ll be surprised how your stepping back and letting go of some things (that you can't control anyway) helps YOU and OTHERS around you grow.
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