Bumble Bees, Cockroaches & The Beatles

Hello readers! I hope you all had a great weekend. This week I thought I'd share with you some realizations I have made from the past few days. 

I realized...

* Fanny packs are kind of "in" (or socially acceptable now) for college students. I have not fully wrapped my brain around this. 

* That I absolutely HATE feeling fearful. There is no other feeling that makes me feel more vulnerable and out of control. Last week on 2 separate occasions (one involving a giant cockroach and the other involving 2 boys hiding in a closet) I was fearful for two different reasons. Thank goodness that roach didn't crawl on my face and the boys came out from hiding! 

*That if I get in the mood to clean, then I MUST seize that opportunity. 

* That some business owners have courage to share their faith despite the possibility of turning away customers. 

* I am a sweeter and more patient mom if I get my "me time". 

* There is NOT one Beatles song that I don't love.

* That I could never be a preschool or a kindergarten teacher.  So much respect for them!! 

* How much I LOVE having deep conversations with friends. I'm so thankful to have friends who think (and analyze) like me. 

* That Edward prefers chocolate over any other candy. He also prefers Cheetos over any other chip. Hmm...wonder where he gets that from?

* Retail Me Not is my go-to retail $ saver now. Such an awesome app. Try it!

* If I am going to resent doing something, I won't do it. Saying no can be a good thing. 

* That watching Troy chase and bark at bumble bees never gets old. Always entertaining. 

* It only takes 9 minutes to reorganize a very messy and nagging drawer. 9. 

* That a problem becomes less of a problem after venting to someone. 

* Next month will make 12 years that I have been driving my car. 12. She's been a good car and looks good for her age though ;)

* That I have only just begun to experience life.

Take a minute to reflect on your past week. 

What is something you have realized about your life or about yourself?

What worked and what didn't work for you this past week?

Help Yourself by learning about yourself from your experiences. We need to apply what we learn.  Do what works best for you and don't do what doesn't work for you. Simple as that. 

 

Have a great week everyone! 

 

Struck Match

Today starts a new week for all of us. I hope this weekend was re-energizing and as enjoyable for you as it was for me.  I did turn 30 though. Yuck!

A few weeks ago I discussed the topic of balance and how many of us work towards creating balance in our lives. I mentioned the areas of Mental, Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual health that some of us strive for balance in. I also stated that I would be sharing in a future post about how my relationship with God grew in a major way a few years ago. 

Today, I will be sharing with you something very intimate and personal about myself...My Faith.  This is a post that may upset some people or just lose attention from others from the get go. That is completely okay. We have the freedom to view or not view whatever we want when it comes to social media. I am prepared for negative feedback. However, I will say that if you are drawn to reading this because of the content, then that means something. I share a piece of my testimony with a humble and ever growing heart. I have very few answers in life and have so much to learn. Why do I feel the need to share my story with you?  Here are the reasons why…
 

• I want everyone to experience the peace, love, and joy that comes with the decision of following Christ.
• It is my Christian duty.

Why was I afraid to share my testimony before? If you've ever read a story about God, Angels, Christianity, etc. on Yahoo news and read the comments on it from the public, you'll see what I mean. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but some people can be brutal and hurtful on social media. To me (and I could be completely wrong), it seems like Christianity is targeted more than any other religion. Just watch South Park, R-Rated Movies, or even pay attention to our every day explicit language and you'll notice the hatred, mockery, and rejection of the Holy Trinity.


Before I share about my life changing experience, I want to briefly talk about my faith up until that point. I was brought up Baptist and attended the same church for the first 18+ years of my life. It was important to my parents that we attended church together as a family and believed in God. Nothing was ever forced on us and I am thankful for that. Between the age of 18-25, my church attendance dramatically decreased and became less of a priority. God and I weren't close and it was because of me.  However, I do recall getting emotional on the rare occasion that I would talk out loud about God. It was like there was a little flame in my heart with the potential to burn out or become ignited. 

 

Over three years ago I watched an episode of a popular talk show with a special guest.  The guest, Dr. Mary C. Neal, shared her account of her kayak accident and what took place while she was pinned underwater for close to 30 minutes. Dr. Neal talked with the host in incredible details about her trip to heaven where she experienced God’s peace, joy, and angels. Then, she shared about her return back to life. I had heard about her story prior to this interview, but once I watched her speak about it my skeptical nature cleared. There was something about the way she described heaven and the angels she met. I could sense that she was speaking from her heart. This interview with the host peaked my interest so much that I decided to get her book “To Heaven and Back.”
 

That same year for Christmas I got this book as a gift from my husband. It was even more fascinating than I had imagined. I initially read it because of simply how incredible the story was, not thinking it would restore my faith!

One night while reading this book, I experienced something that I will never forget. I couldn't tell you exactly what page or chapter I was reading, but I can tell you what I felt in my room that night. Something in her story ignited my faith like a struck match.  I remember looking up from the book and then around the room. All of a sudden, I realized I was not alone. I felt a presence, almost as if there was an intruder.  That wasn't the case. I realized that the Holy Spirit had permeated himself in that room. I felt it. My heart was racing. I was afraid at first, but then I thought OR God spoke to me through my thoughts with the words  "Do not be afraid for I am with you." I sat there in my room quietly for some time before continuing to read. I remember walking into the kitchen feeling that same presence. 

I shared with my husband and a few other people about what I encountered that night. I was very excited and motivated to learn more, worship more, and serve Him more. Shortly after reading the book, I started my first bible study at church and began attending church with a much different perspective.  My relationship with Him was restored, but it was because I sought and accepted Him.
 

Scripture speaks quite a bit about seeking God. Why? He wants that relationship with all of us. I think of it as a Father/Daughter or Father/Son relationship, but on a much more intimate & closer level.  It is difficult to comprehend how MUCH God loves us, but boy does he! In Jeremiah 31:3, the Lord says "I have loved you with an everlasting love." 
 

If you are searching and seeking growth in your spiritual life and are feeling lost, confused, or disconnected like I have been, you can Help Yourself by simply following your heart. Break down those walls and open your heart to Him. He loves you more than you can imagine.

Oh How I Love...

Hello readers!

I am so glad to be writing another blog post after this past week. This post will be a little lighter than usual and will focus on my observations in the past few days.

One observation or recent realization I have made is that life gets much sweeter after getting past a hurdle. Have you ever noticed that? I don’t know about you, but life seems more exciting and more enjoyable after I have overcome adversity!

The majority of this past week I was sick with THE stomach virus. I capitalized “the” because it is well known and feared in our surrounding counties. For me, the worst part about being sick (besides feeling sick) is how much I could NOT do. The feeling of being unproductive or behind is never a good one. On top of being a total slacker, I could not even touch my family for two days.

Thankfully, I finally feel like myself again and can appreciate even MORE the life God has given me. Here are some things I have enjoyed even more since my virus (and the weather) cleared.


Oh How I Love…
　

• The first feeling of sunshine on my skin after a very rainy week

• A cup of coffee with a little too much creamer

• The ability to eat food outside of the B.R.A.T. diet

• The sound of birds chirping

• Seeing pure joy on other peoples faces

• Dancing when Edward randomly tells me to

• Conversations with new and old friends

• A good ole Waffle House trip

• Modern Family & The Carbonarro Effect

• Watching a Bride walk the aisle

• Live music

• Fried chicken, French fries, Blue Bell & Cookie cake

• Making new friends

• Being able to kiss Edward’s bobo

• Great conversations with my husband

• Hearing children praying and seeing teens willingly serving the Lord

• TOMS Heels

• Watching Troy man soak in the sun

• Watching my husband doing their Magic Carpet Ride chant

• Taquitos, Starbursts, & Doritos

• Fresh painted nails

• Getting to know someone new

• Hearing “I love you Momma” out of the blue

• Grandma visiting for the weekend

• That 2 teenage girls told me yesterday that 30 isn’t old

So, if you are getting past a difficult or stressful week or are enduring one as you are reading this, you can Help Yourself by:

　

• Being mindful that there will come a time whether it be tomorrow or a year from now that you will feel yourself again.

• Being mindful that life will be much sweeter once you overcome your short or long term hurdle.

• Being mindful of all the things in life that you love and appreciate. :) 

     Have a great week everyone! 

Balancing Acts: What Women Have to Say

As some of you may know, last week I published my first Blog post, which focused on idle minds and evaluating our expectations around us. I was very surprised and excited to see that I had more than the 15 views that I had imagined, ha! Starting this blog definitely pushed me out of my (somewhat private on social media) comfort zone.  I am so thankful for the encouraging words I have heard and read from some of you. :)

The first week of March is here and I couldn’t be happier! This week we had one of the most pleasant days in Fairhope, Al. so far for the year. Instead of our morning cartoon ritual, my son and I headed outside for playtime. My plants got their plentiful sunshine and a good watering. The bay sparkled more than ever. The pelicans and seagulls talked away. Spring Fever took over me and all I could think about was our first beach trip for the year.

I could have sat on our porch sipping on my coffee for hours….if only I didn’t have other responsibilities and obligations of course. The day was so breathtaking that my motivation to do anything else became close to nonexistent. I can imagine this happens to most people while at their work or at home.

At one point while playing with bubbles on the back porch, it dawned on me what I needed to get done for the day and how much I had NOT accomplished. As usual, I thought to myself how regretful I would feel if I put off what needed to get done. After completing that task, I was clear-minded and felt my day was just a little more balanced.

Balance is something I strive to achieve in my life everyday. It is also something that I am completely aware that I will NEVER fully achieve satisfaction on each level at the same time, but nevertheless, I strive to be content in all areas. I would bet I am not the only one who focuses on balance. I have actually read and heard MANY other women in my life speak about their major struggles with having a balanced life. We all want to FEEL that we are doing well or our best in all aspects of our life. Many times we feel like we fail ourselves in at least one area.

From 2009-2012, I was employed at a Substance Abuse Treatment center as a Therapist for adolescent males. While residing in this facility between 45-60 days, the boys received crucial clinical and case management services. My responsibilities consisted of leading group therapy 4 hours each day as well as provide 2 hours of individual therapy to my clients daily. It was incredibly draining work at times, but we did our job knowing it was essential for their future success. 

For a typical group session, all 16 boys would sit in their social room with the staff and begin group therapy by doing their “Feelings Check”. As you would imagine, this was awkward to the new clients coming into the program. A teenage boy talking about his feelings in front of 15 others his same age! Talk about nerve-racking! It’s funny. They quickly got used to sharing their feelings and actually looked forward to having their moment to speak about themselves. 

This is an example of what a client would say during their “Feelings Check”.

My name is John (Hi John).
My drug of choice is alcohol.
Physically I feel…..tired.
Mentally I feel….confused.
Emotionally I feel…mad. 
Spiritually I feel….blessed.

　
The feelings check was a good way for my clients to identify how they were doing in these different areas. Some of them were challenged because they had never really thought about how they were doing “mentally” for example.

What would your feelings check consist of if you had to say it now?
*Let us take a closer look at each area and answer these questions together. 

PHYSICALLY I feel ________________.

• Do we have a positive or negative self image? Why?
• What healthy and harmful habits do we exhibit? 
• Are we indulging too much or depriving ourselves? 

 

 

MENTALLY I feel_________________.

• Are we taking care of ourselves? (I.e. taking our prescribed medications, exercising, seeing our counselor, etc.)?
• Are we getting enough rest?
• Is our mental health a priority?　
   

EMOTIONALLY I feel______________.

• Are we putting too much pressure on ourselves in our roles?
• Are we communicating our feelings with our spouse and family?
• Are we surrounded our living spaces with little pieces of happy? 

Here are a few pictures of what puts me in my happy place even for a brief moment:

My favorite smoothie!

For $8, I fill 3 vases with fresh flowers  :)

No need to explain this one. I mean, duh.



Scripture is so fascinating to me. Reading it brings me peace.

SPIRITUALLY I feel_______________.

This is a tough area for many people to feel complete and confident in. Sadly, some people live their whole life feeling empty in this area. They may have financial success, a large family, good looks, but no spiritual connectedness.

This is an area in my life that I had immediate growth in just a few years ago. I will be sharing more about what instantly connected me to God and restored my faith BIG time in a future post. Can't wait to share.

• If we are feeling lost, disconnected, or spiritually empty, what could be the reason?
• What can we do to improve our connectedness?
• Do we make efforts to improve in this area or do we sit and wait?

This week I contacted a few women (all beautiful inside & out!) and asked them about whether or not living a balanced life was a priority to them. I also asked them what they do to create more balance in their life.  I love what they all had to say and have already used their personal tips as advice.

*“I think moms just try to do the Best. They. Can. Whether stay at home or working mom. We just try. It’s never perfect. Once you let go and realize it will never be perfect. It’s liberating.”


*“I think balance is one of the big secrets to life. We juggle so many things as women. I know for me, as a teacher, a wife, a prospective adopting parent, and a servant in my church, the juggle struggle is real. In order to keep balance, I have had to keep a very structured schedule. One that puts God first, me second, and everything else third. I’ve realized that if I don’t care of myself, nothing else can truly blossom. So, my balance is posted on a daily list of “must do’s” “try to do’s” and “could be put off for another day.” It helps me feel free and in control at the same time."

 　
*“Since I started a family, I’ve reimagined what a balanced life represents. I quickly found that my family gave me a reason to define and create balance in my life. I previously thought I lived with balance because I was seldom stressed, securely grounded and passionately motivated. After the birth of my daughter I learned that my life was never balanced and was heavily weighted with time spent on my career. Within months of her birth I found myself stressed, unmotivated and uncertain. It wasn’t simply a need to bring back to middle the combination of work and family; it was entirely reevaluating life without me as the center. Balance for me was therefore created within an outgrowth of selflessness. My happiness and motivation became founded less on a principle of intensity in any one area and more on the concept of balance in every area. It led me to be a better Director within my company, wife within my marriage, mother to my children and friend to my peers. Thus I’ve realized, the blessing of my children gave me not only the gift of love, but of balance.”


*“Constant balance struggle. Am I giving enough quality time to her is probably the biggest. Even though I am home with her, I work here, so I am not always focused on her. How do I stop thinking about work, money, etc. Can in get her in bed early enough to eat ice-cream without having to share? Will she hear me sneak a cheez-it? Mommy guilt everyone has. It’s normal, but it doesn’t make it easier. I don’t have a solution right now because we are hanging by a thread for the next couple of months. Keeping my phone away when she is up is helpful. A good cry once a month!”

 

*"Staying in the Word. When I'm involved in Bible study my life is more stable. If I'm not doing a study, I tend to feel blue and have negative feelings. I immediately find a study and get back in the Word. Works every time."


Living a balanced life is important to many of us. Help Yourself by…

• Doing what works best for you to get your life feeling more balanced. 
• Have normal expectations for creating balance. Don’t be too hard on yourself!
• Being cognizant that you WILL get off balance for many different reasons. Life will bring us roadblocks or new obligations or great opportunities that will get us off track for a bit.  Just keep going!

Lose Control: My First Blog

 


 
 Hello everyone! I am so excited to be writing my very own blog! I have been wanting to write one for a few years, but I honestly haven’t had the courage until recently (thanks Kathy!). I have so much to learn about the blogging world, but I know it will be a fun process.  I look forward to having this therapeutic outlet for myself, but more importantly, I hope to encourage or help someone (somehow) along the way. I will say that this is NOT a "Mommy" blog (even though today's blog is about parenting). I hope to share about many different topics that we encounter on a regular basis. The title “Help Yourself” is self explanatory and sounds a little selfish, but I truly believe that once we help ourselves first, everything else falls into place!

Have you ever had a day where you just over-thought and over-analyzed just about everything? You knew at the time that you needed to just drop it or let it go because it seemed trivial, but you just couldn’t. This was my struggle this WHOLE week. Thinking WAY TOO MUCH. I’m talking about thoughts and worries on top of normal thoughts and worries. These thoughts listed below are normal for me and I could probably think them in a 10 minute span.
　

1. Do we have eggs?
2. Does the dog have water?
3. I want some girl time pronto.
4. What am I cooking for dinner? 
5. Did I text everyone back?
6. I need some wrinkle cure cream. Does that exist?
7. Do I have any errands to run?
8. I want to travel somewhere.
9. Ugh, I need to clean the floors.
10. And when I can’t think of anything, I naturally make myself think of something I need to do.


Getting a tattoo just got a little tempting...

　
I’m not sure if the week has been like this because my mind has been more idle than usual or if it’s hormonal (always a good excuse) or if it truly is something meant to bother me this much so I would do something about it. Overall, it was a mentally exhausting week.

Most of you know that my husband and I were blessed two and a half years ago with a little boy named Edward. He is the apple of our eyes and has brought so much joy to our lives. I could go on and on about why we love him so much and how he can be the sweetest, most loving & fun child we could have ever imagined having all to ourselves. I am still in shock and probably always will be that God has allowed and equipped me to be a mother.

But, let’s be real. Being a parent is challenging. The toddler age is tough. Not knowing all of the solutions is frustrating. I realized this past week that my expectations have been unrealistic for Edward's behavior, especially in public. Besides the teenager stage, being a toddler is one of the most, if not the most difficult age he will experience in his entire life. Here are a few reasons why:

• He can’t completely communicate what he is thinking or how he is feeling.
• He has to share all of his stuff.
• His happiness and contentment in the afternoon depends ON….THE….NAP.
• So many more reasons!

 
One of our highest privileges as parents is being one of the few people to see our children’s most precious moments.

Do we teach him to have manners and be loving? Yes! Can we control his emotions? NO! Yes, we can correct him when need be, but it is a fact that he IS going to have “moments” at home or around friends/family and that is ok.  He is a human after all!
I am always taking advice from friends and family about all kinds of things. How do we grow without applying what we learn from others? Here are a few paraphrased words of advice I have soaked in recently about parenting toddlers. Pretty profound.

• Jena- When talking about how her son didn’t want to leave the house… “They are just like us and have mood changes like we do.”
• Mom- When telling her about Edward‘s tantrum in frustration: “He is not going to act like that forever”.
• Crystal- "If my child’s behavior now was indicative of how she will be as an adult, she will be a screaming streaker.”

You’re my boy Blue.

 In conclusion, a few ways to help yourself when having these moments of excess thoughts and worries is to talk to someone and/or keep yourself busy. An idle mind is usually never a good thing, so fill or distract your brain. Write in your journal. Go for a run. Make a phone call. Go for a drive in your car and listen to Right Said Fred if you need to.  Do what it takes.

Another way to help yourself is by identifying your expectations for others . Are they too high? Do we expect too much of our husbands, our parents, children or are friends? Do we sometimes expect more of others than we do ourselves? If we do, we need to stop and identify this as a control issue. Let some things go and lose some control. You’ll be surprised how your stepping back and letting go of some things (that you can't control anyway) helps YOU and OTHERS around you grow.