8 Ways to be a Happier You

 

  Image source from weheartit.com 

 

by: Shannon Rubio

June 17, 2015

 

We are in control of our happiness. Here are some strategies that may help you be the happiest you've ever been. 

 

1.  Prepare Your Mind.

 

Our thoughts lead to our actions right? Starting your day off with a positive and strong mindset will affect your day for the better. Mentally prepare your mind for how you will overcome challenging situations. If you are dealing with a major life stressor right now, then wake up and tell yourself how you plan to deal with it. Here are some examples of what you can tell you yourself to get your mind ready for the day. 

 

• "I am going to have a productive day."
• "I am going to resist temptation and exhibit good self control."
• "I am going to focus on all of the good that happens to me today."

 

2.  Take Care of Your Body.

 

You may have noticed that you are a more energetic and productive person on the days you eat healthier and/or exercise.  When we cut down on sugar intake, eat fresh foods, eat smaller portions, and exercise, it can make or break our day. 

 

3. Forgive.

 

Oh forgiveness.  It is so hard to let go, stop holding that grudge, and forgive. Holding on to anger towards a person who wronged you will prevent you from being the happiest person you can be. Let's not be harder on others than we are on ourselves. Seeing the major benefit of forgiving that person in your heart will give you motivation to do so. Ask God to help you and he will do so.

 

4. Stay connected to Family & Friends.

 

Our relationships with others make up the core of our lives. Our family and friendships are everything. If we are always disconnected with the most important people to us, then how are we going to be our best?

 

5. Have Alone Time.

 

For my husband, it's playing golf.  For me, it's a pedicure, bubble bath, or in a rare moment, having the house to myself. Listen up women and men.  Usually in order for you to get your alone time, you have to make arrangements for this. Tell your spouse or family member in advance so they can prepare for it. Even if you get only 15 minutes to yourself, it will still give you a little re-charge and calm your mood.

 

6. Volunteer to Help.

 

How often do we sacrifice our time to help people, our church, our organizations, etc.? Volunteering your time to help others will make you feel useful, productive and happy. 

 

7. Make Yourself Proud.

We tend to have more self-worth when we are accomplished. This could be anything from being caught up on laundry to nailing an important work presentation. Setting and then accomplishing your goals will satisfy you for sure.

 

8. Be Thankful.

 

Thinking about what we don't have is toxic. Be thankful EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.  If you pray, thank God for specifics in your life, even it's for air conditioning.  If everything seems to be crumbling, make a list of 20 blessings in your life. This will get you back on track.

Stop, Drop & Help!

Good afternoon readers. I am so thankful that you are reading this and giving me your precious time. I hope your weekend was fabulous!

If you are a friend of mine, you know from speaking with me or Facebook newsfeed (sorry!) that I spent my weekend with family celebrating my son's 3rd birthday. This year I decided to do a low maintenance party for Edward. It was SO nice.   Here is what I did NOT do:

• Send out Invitations
• Pay for a venue
• Make a cake
• Stress out!

It was refreshing not putting myself in the usual high-pressure-of-having-a-perfect-party mode. Edward had fun and that's all that mattered!

Let's change gears a bit and rewind back to an hour before the party.  There were three stops we had to make before getting to the splash pad. We had to get...

1. Ice
2. Pizza
3. Balloons

After picking up our Little Caesars pizza's, we were finally on our way to stop #3!  I get so impatient at fun times like this, so I was anxious to knock out these stops.  After taking the exit, we couldn't help but notice a homeless man standing there holding a sign asking for food. As our car got closer to him, I remember reading the sign hoping that he was asking for something we could give him.

The light was about to turn green, so my husband and I had to make a quick decision on how to help this man. Kiel and I looked at each other and without speaking made an easy decision.  Pizza! We could help by giving him some of the pizza we picked up at our second stop!  Kiel jumped out of the car, grabbed 4 slices, grabbed some napkins and then jumped back in just in time to get onto HWY 181. All of this was in a 30 second time span. We drove off and headed to stop #3 with little smiles on our face.  I think I said something girly and sappy like "Aww, I'm glad we got to help." It felt good to help this person.

I have never helped a homeless person, but each time I see someone homeless, which is not often here, I want to help. I no longer think these things...

• He's drunk
• He's going to scheme me for money
• Lock the door
• He's lazy

The influence of my Counseling career and my relationship with God has given me more compassion for others. I instead think "He/she has a story".  We all do. 

If we would have both made assumptions about this person, we would've had 4 more slices of pizza in our car.  Although we didn't give him pizza for us to feel good about ourselves, I admit that it felt great to help someone in this kind of situation. I spend all of my day making sure my family is taken care of, so giving this person a meal just felt natural and right.

What are some ways you can lift someone up and make someone's day, week, or even year? I can't think of a better way for us to start off our week than by doing this.  We (myself included) need to stop focusing so much on our needs and instead look around for ways we can help. If we see signs to help we need to stop, drop what we are doing and help. This will only help ourselves. Have a great Monday! 

Taking the Garbage Out

In our household, Monday's are our garbage days. Like some of you, my husband is the one responsible for making sure the garbage gets to the road in time.  It's crazy how much garbage our small family of three can accumulate.

This isn't the type of garbage I want to talk about today.

Through television, social media, negative people, work, our own heads, and many more ways we deal with garbage EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

Last night while my husband and I were watching TV, a segment of a celebrity gossip show came on previewing their show coming up that night.  They talked about three things within the five second commercial.  Let's just say all three topics pertained to body image and definitely not in a positive way. I just sighed.  I'm pretty sure my husband sighed too. And don't get me started on the Viagra commercials!

Let me first say that I expose myself to garbage every day.  I don't like to admit it, but from time to time I check TMZ.com or maybe Eonline from my phone. Usually it is out of boredom.  I listen to rap music sometimes. I watch Real Housewives of Atlanta. I wear sunscreen with chemicals. I ate two fudge rounds yesterday. I would say all of that is probably garbage.

What do I mean when I say garbage? I am referring to anything that will NOT strengthen the mind, body, and soul. 

Some of you may be dealing with more serious garbage in your life.  Maybe you live with or are close with someone who brings you down on a daily basis.  They are so miserable with their life and they seem to try to make yours just as miserable.  Sometimes, you even believe the garbage they put in your head.

You may be reading and say to yourself "I don't have anyone toxic in my life." Some of you may be the toxic person in your life.  Every day, your mind may tell you things like  "You aren't capable", "You are unattractive", "Just quit that habit another day", "You are weak" or "You can't do this".  This is ALL garbage! Think about the times in your life when you were very positive and encouraging towards yourself.  Did you achieve that goal? Did you quit that bad habit or addiction? Were you happier? Probably more often than not, you can answer yes!

ALL of us have been toxic to ourselves at one point or another. In my opinion, our own mind probably creates in more garbage than anything else in our lives.

What can we do about all this trash and how we can take it out?  Here are some tips that I have learned from my experiences...

• Try something new that is positive or replace something negative.  For me, it has been listening to Christian music more. 

•  As challenging as it is, try to avoid websites and television shows that you know are garbage.  If you know in your heart that it's best for you to not to watch or view them, be strong and stay away from them as much as you can. Avoiding them once is a success!

• Remind yourself of how awesome you are!  Think about compliments you have received in the past about your intelligence, your appearance, and what you have accomplished. Think about what others love about you and what makes you special. Remember...

Let's be real here. We are probably going to continue exposing ourselves to some sort of garbage even when working on replacing or taking some out of our lives. I would say it is more about cutting things out one at a time or even minimizing this trash that we put in. Baby steps.

Think about your day.  What do you put in your body?  What do you expose yourself to that you probably shouldn't?  Help Yourself  by feeding positive, happy, healthy, motivational, loving, self-improving and healthy images and thoughts in your mind. Don't waste your time.

My Three Things

Hello readers!

I hope all of you had a wonderful Easter weekend! 

This week I want to share three things with you that I have been working to improve on. 

Self-improvement is something that I always strive for. It is important to me that I don't remain stagnant in my life and that I become a better version of myself year after year. I know that if I push myself to improve in the things I care about or is needed of me most, I (and my family) will benefit from this.  I will say that It's in a healthy form and not something I think about too much, but in the back of my head it's usually there. 

Here's an example. When my husband and I were dating, I would say that I was a pretty bad cook. I had very little confidence in cooking and, for some reason, I didn't think it was necessary to read the directions word for word. I would even get anxiety about making pasta.

Since I have been a wife and mom, I (thankfully) have had many opportunities to cook many meals. I have learned quite a bit along the way about cooking, but of course there is still much more to learn. I am no great cook, but I will say that I am much better than I was pre-Kiel and Edward! 

Here are some of the ways I am working on improving myself this week. 

1. Lowering my carb/sugar intake and eating more veggies!

After this past weekend, my body is angry at me for the cupcakes, sister shubert rolls, jelly beans, and beignets I had. Last night I was determined to have a detox dinner, so I cooked some Publix Greenwise chicken sausages, cut them up, threw them in with some cabbage and onions and served that with some fresh butter beans on the side. Slap yo' momma good! 

 Notice that empty muffin pan sitting there on the stove. I was SO tempted to make some cornbread until I saw the calorie content and the word "LARD" on three different ingredients on the cornbread mix. Sadly, I had to pass! 

At the end of the day, I was proud to say I had eaten 7 different vegetables! 

2. Using my Cell Phone Less. 

This is a difficult one too! Why? Well, We can do EVERYTHING on our phones now and it is so convenient and sometimes relaxing to use them. I could write a whole blog post (or several) about technology and why we all shouldn't use it as much.  The other day, my friend and I were talking about the topic of substance abuse and she said "Yeah, my husband says it's never good to be dependent on anything." 

I never want my child to think I am dependent on my phone. I can accept that he will think that about coffee (ha!), but not my phone. When my son looks at me, I don't want him to often see mommy's head down looking at that device. I want him to have my full attention most of the time!  I also don't want to be a bad influence. Am I going to use my phone around him? Yes! But, I definitely need to have more limits. 

 

3. Living in the Present.

Without a doubt, this is the most important improvement I must make! This week I have heard some amazing music, seen some beautiful sunsets, tasted some delicious food, smelled some divine scents, and touched very very soft skin. I have been working on just enjoying the moment as it is happening. Taking mental pictures of the precious moments. 

Who knows what the future holds for us?  We need to take it in now before it's too late!

Whether it was watching Edward watch his daddy throw a castnet off of a pier, eating popcorn and watching Shrek Forever After with Edward in bed, (I put the phone down shortly thereafter I swear!)

Easter eggs hunts, listening to a man at our church with no arms or legs talk about how "God doesn't make mistakes", or having meaningful conversations with my family, I made it a point to soak it in more than usual. I hope to always work on this. 

What are you currently working to improve in your life? 

Are you putting the work into improving what matters to you or do you procrastinate these things?

Help Yourself by becoming aware of how you'd like to improve yourself. Make sure it's healthy self-improvement. Think about how this improvement could (I.e) help your family, boost your self-esteem, change your attitude or even make you a happier person! Then DO THE WORK and have lots of self control along the way.  Have a great week everyone! 

 

 

Clear Vision

"Is everyone seeing what I am seeing?" I wondered to myself while driving down a road in Fairhope, Al. I was mesmerized. 

It was a beautiful day in May. Low humidity. Temperature was in the low 70's. Just a few tiny clouds floated in the sky. On this street, heading to the dentist, were the most beautiful trees I had ever seen. They were bright green and glowed as they moved along with the wind. I turned my eyes to the right and then to the left. "Have I even noticed these before?" I also thought as I was nearly  hypnotized by them. They were just pecan or oak trees. Trees that I have seen all of my life in my hometown. Trees on probably every road or highway I have ever been on. 

What made them SO much more noticeable and striking this time? Was it the fact that the sun was shining to its max and the trees reflected that? Maybe. 

It has been years since I have had an eye exam.  The last exam I had I was told I had 10/20 vision.  This means that I could see at 20 feet what most people could see at 10.  I would guess that my vision is no longer 10/20 just because I am 10 years older now, but nonetheless, I am grateful I overall have pretty clear vision. 

Was it my decent vision that was allowing me to see such beauty in nature?  Possibly. 

About a week ago, I started taking a few different vitamins to strengthen my immune system. One of the vitamins I was recommended was Spirulina. I had never heard of it until I visited the health food store. "Spiru-what?" I said to myself as the lady told me about its benefits and how she takes it. One of the many benefits of this super food algae is its high concentration of beta-carotene. It has 10 times the amount of beta-carotene than in one carrot. And we all know what beta-carotene does. So, I wondered while looking at these stunning trees...

"Are these vitamins enhancing my vision?".   Hard to tell. 

If you know me well, you know how much I love flowers. If I was rich, I would have the most beautifully landscaped yard you have ever seen. I heard once when I was in sales that people tend to do things that make them feel good. Well, this is definitely very true for me. My flowers make me feel happy because of their colors they exude and how much they can dress up my front porch. I thought as I saw those trees...

"Am I noticing this because of my love for flowers and plants?" (Because, really, I don't obsess over trees). 

Yes, it is quite possible that these trees grabbed my attention for the above reasons. It was a gorgeous, sunny day. I was on some good vitamins, and I can appreciate some pretty flowers and plants. 

Or what if it was something even bigger than that? 

God is more creative than we could ever imagine. He designed me and you with five senses: sight, touch, smell, taste, and hearing. He also created different things just to satisfy all of our senses. Think about it...what is something that really stimulates your senses that makes you happy and is naturally occurring? Here are some of mine...

• Seeing Edward's smile, Troy chasing lizards and bumblebees, my porch plants, Bouganvilla's (I'm obsessed), and the water sparking on Mobile bay. 

• The taste of pineapples, eggs, avocados, almonds, salsa, and grilled chicken. 

•  The smell of Gardenia's, onions/garlic, bacon cooking, puppies. 

• Feeling Edward's soft skin, a warm bath, holding Edward and my husband's hands. 

• Hearing the dryer and the dishwasher running, Kiel and Edward's laughs, hearing "I love you" completely out of the blue from Edward, songs from 1,000,000 different artists and bands, and waves crashing at the beach. 

I had an epiphany a few weeks ago as I was enjoying watching some Pelicans flying. I realized that He had to have put those birds in that blue sky for me to notice. He could have made the sky grey, filled it with floating black rocks, and made it constantly dreary looking. But instead, he didn't. I know that He created those birds and the bright blue sky for me to have pleasure seeing. Yes, those birds have many purposes, but I know one purpose has to be to make us enjoy life a little more. 

Those trees are just an example of what God did for us when he designed us. He wants us to enjoy life on earth and get a little piece of heaven while we are here. He wants us to embrace his creations and be less distracted by worldly things (Internet, material items, harmful substances, etc.) I also think he uses beauty in things and in people to remind us of Him and his love for us. 

What's the biggest way God has shown He loves us and wants the best for us?

By sending his ONLY son, a perfect man, to earth to die on a cross---which came from a TREE---for the sole purpose of giving whoever believes in Him (for generations and generations to come) eternal life in heaven!

Now that's something to make us happy!

5 Simple Saving Tips

1. If you will regret it, don't buy it! 

 

Practice self control this week by waiting until the right time to make that purchase you've been wanting to. Ask yourself "Do I/we really need this?"
 

 

2. Be sure to download the RetailMeNot app on your smart phone! 

In the past few weeks, I have saved $ at retail stores and restaurants by utilizing this app. I have even sent my husband pictures of the coupons so he can show the cashiers. It is so easy.  Download it now!
 

 

3.  Deposit money in your savings account once you get paid!

Putting money away into our savings account is not easy is it?! I have found that transferring money right after pay day is the best way to go.  Why? Well, the longer we leave that money in the account, the more likely we are to spend it on something we really don't need.  Try it! Even $50 a month saved is a great accomplishment! That's $600/year!

 

4.  Don't forget the clearance section!

When grocery or shopping retail, remember to go to the clearance section of your store before checking out. Whether it be TJ Maxx, CVS, Target, Publix, or anywhere else, the clearance sections are worth browsing through.  My mother-in-law is a pro at scoring some great deals in the clearance sections! Most people don't realize this, but a lot of times you can still use coupons on clearance items.  Just make sure to read the fine detail on the coupon. Also, shopping clearance after the holidays is the way to go!

 

5. Buy a coupon Fundraiser book!

 

These books are easy to find and are so worth buying! They cost anywhere between $10-$20 and have at least $1,000 worth of savings in them! You will save money on activities for the kids, golf,  great restaurants, and more.  I can't wait to see what coupons are in this next one!

 

Have a great week everyone!! 

Less is More: Tips on Limiting our Device use

Hello readers! I hope you are enjoying your week. I'm happy to finally see a little sunshine after all of this rain. I don't know about you, but my yard is flooded!

If I had to describe this past week in one word, I would say it has been 'refreshing'. If you read my last blog post, you read that one of the things I've been trying to work on is limiting my phone use. This past week I significantly decreased my time on my phone about 75%. Writing that blog post was a blessing because it helped me hold myself accountable for the week. I didn't get on the internet for the entire weekend and the past few days I have been online less as well. I have noticed that just in this short period of time of doing this that I am experiencing and soaking in life more than before. 

Beside feeling refreshed, I have noticed other changes from using my phone less this past week: 

• I have been more clear-minded. 
• I am sleeping more AND sleeping better. 
• Edward and I have bonded more because I have been able to give him more attention. 
• I have been more patient. 
• I have been more on top of my housework. 
• More cuddle time with my hubby.

And this is just what I noticed in ONE week.

Think about it. How much of our daily lives do we waste on our phone? 

 

Between checking Facebook, our email, checking our trashy websites, checking the news, Twitter, Snap Chat, Zulily, etc. it can get out of hand quick. I can't count how many times at night before bed, at lunch, or in the morning with my coffee I have spent on Facebook for at least 30 minutes at a time.  Then there's that feeling of "crap, I just wasted the last 30 minutes."

 

Don't get me wrong friends.

There are some great benefits to using our phones/internet/devices that I will always take advantage of. Like, Pinterest for example. It has made my life so much easier! I don't ever see myself not using Pinterest. We can also find some great (free) workouts on the internet.  We can get directions, get definitions, check the weather, play music, and so much more thanks to the internet.

Some of you reading this may say to yourself "I rarely use my phone or check the Internet.  This blog post doesn't apply to me." If this is you, then pat yourself on the back! That is wonderful. I was talking to a lady from church a few weeks ago that told me she checked FB once a week. I was thinking to myself how I needed to do the same!

For me, the biggest blessing of being a Stay-At-Home-Mom is getting more time with my child. It's up to me how I spend that time.  Browsing the internet more than I should takes away from that precious time I have with my child. For you working mothers who want to cut back too, this will benefit you greatly as well.  I know your time with your children is very very valuable. For any individual-man, woman, teenager, married, single, etc- using social media  less will probably benefit us all.

 

Yesterday my mother and I were chatting and I mentioned to her about how loud the Flash Flood Warning was that went off on my husband's phone at 2am (TWICE!) the previous morning. Her response was "You keep your phones by your bed?"  To her, that made no sense, but for my generation, using our phone or other device before bed (I would assume) is the norm. 

What about our children's generation? How much more will they rely on their phones and other devices than we do? What will be the consequences of them using our devices too much? Their social skills? What about divorce rate? Will it increase? Obesity rate? How much of their lives will they miss out on? 

If you are wondering how you can minimize your use and want to do this as well, here are a few things that have worked for me this past week. 

1. Be aware of how long you will be on your phone.

For example, If you are on FB, look at the clock and maybe use your device for a smaller increment of time that you would normally be on. 8:00am-8:15am instead of 8:00-8:45 for example. If you find yourself texting or getting texts a lot, try to cut out sending some of the texts that can wait.  When we receive texts, we don't have to reply right then unless it is an emergency of course. 

 

2. Pick a time or times during the day that are best to designate for device use.  

For me, it's when Edward is watching his morning cartoon or before I go to sleep. Pick times that work out best for you and your family.

What if we check our phones and see notifications on our apps? It's so tempting to check them isn't it?! Let's do our best to wait until our designated times to check.

 

3. Don't take pictures of everything! 

 

Yes, there will be some awesome moments in our lives that just need to be documented. The problem with taking pictures too often is that we are in constant use of our phone. We are more likely to check our App notifications when we are using our phone for something else. We also owe it to our loved ones to give them OUR FULL ATTENTION. 

 

4. Leave your phone inside, in the car, or put it on silent if you have to. 

 

A lot of times to avoid phone use, I leave my phone inside when I take Edward outside to play.  If you can't leave your phone and have to have it on you, than putting it on silent will help. It's also good to let people know that you won't be available to talk during that period of time. 

 

5. Find something worthy of your time to replace the device.

 

Sometimes we have downtime. Times when we want to relax on the weekend. Time when the household chores are as good as it's going to get for the day. Times when we are back home from an outing. Times when our child is napping and we can't leave the house. This is a great opportunity for us to...

 

• Read that magazine that's been sitting on our counter for months.

• Reading that book our mother recommended.

• Planting some seeds or flowers.

• CALLING a friend or relative. (Yes, I said calling)

• Exercise.

• Revisit a hobby we enjoy.

• Cleaning the baseboards (Kidding)

• Doing a hands-on activity with your child.

• Baking your favorite cookies.

• Curling up and watching a new movie with your spouse/boyfriend.  

Just don't do this...

Or this...

There are so many more options we have than using our phones! There are so many more activities that we can do that doesn't waste our time, but yet helps us experience life. 

 

6. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Once again, let's be realistic with this. With any improvements or goals we have in our lives, we must know we aren't going to do them perfectly. There are going to be days when we didn't exhibit the self control we would have liked to. This is normal. The key to success with many goals is to keep going and getting back on track. Give yourself credit for making any change for the better even if it's just a teeny tiny bit.

Have a great week everyone!