Zombie-ish

How many of you find yourself helping others more than yourself? How many of you are mentally and/or emotionally drained by the end of the day because you spent all day helping people around you instead of YOU?

I would guess many of you reading those questions could answer "me" to both of them.

When I was working full time as a Therapist, I would come home mentally and sometimes emotionally EXHAUSTED from my work. I put that word in all caps not to be dramatic, but to be accurate. Now as a SAHM, I still end most of my days very drained from the energy I put into parenting Edward and taking care of other home responsibilities. It's a different kind of drained, but overall (just like with my career) I put my heart and soul into what I do, which usually leaves me feeling worthless by 8:00pm.

Is it a problem that we are zombie-ish by our days end because we have given so much of ourselves in our careers and in our homes?  Should we feel bad when we breathe a sigh of relief when our children go to bed at night? Is it a negative thing when our brain is close to mush by dinner because we spent all day working diligently on our child saying "yes ma'am",  following directions, and reiterating anything potty related? 

NO. NO. NO. You know why?  Because this means that we are probably doing a good job in our homes and in our career. This means that we are not being lazy in the workplace or selfish as a stay at home parent.  Our exhaustion by the end of the day is PROOF THAT WE CARE ABOUT WHAT WE DO.  It is proof that we are putting a lot of effort into what we care about and that we are trying to be good at it.  We want our bosses to see our efforts and be proud of our hard work. We want our children to be raised right and to grow up being just downright good people and productive members of society.

What is a problem for us is when we dwell on what we didn't do.  When we end our day fretting over the fact that we didn't clean the bathrooms or talked to as many new customers as we had hoped-is not helpful for us. It overshadows and clouds all that we accomplished for the day. What we didn't get to for that day can always be done another time.

Help Yourself  by asking yourself this one question: Did I accomplish my top priority (not my whole to-do list) in my home or workplace for the day? Were my clients satisfied? Did I run that one errand? Were my children happy? Did my family get fed? Was I accomplished? If you can answer yes to your daily priority, then you should get plenty of rest for the night. Have a good week! :)

-Shannon

More like Stimpy!

His face lights up. His eyes squint a little. His cheeks plump up. His little dimples appear. It's one of my favorite sights to see: my son Edward laughing.

It dawned on me yesterday while playing with Edward how easy it is for him to become joyful.  He will smile and giggle if I find all of the pieces to a toy that he sees every day. Or when he gets in his bed at night, he will smile and giggle (I think) because of how comfortable he is. If I hand him 5 M&M's, he will become joyful. Hiding, singing, running, jumping and so many other things bring him joy. 

I thought to myself (after noticing this) how much more it takes for me to experience that same kind of joy that Edward experiences. Other than the obvious events of getting married and having Edward, it takes things like getting Alabama football tickets, winning $1,000 on a slot machine, or getting a box of Krispy Kreme donuts to bring me loads of joy. Heck, as much as I love Krispy Kreme, when I get that box in the drive thru, I still don't even giggle like Edward does.

Why do we not experience joy like children?

Is it because nothing is new to us anymore? Or that we become cynical as we age? Do we spend our lives focusing on bigger events/moments that bring us joy and leave the smaller ones unnoticed?

Look at Ren. Not full of joy at all. Perhaps you know someone like Ren. Experiences very little joy in their lives and finds the negative in most situations. Let's be more like Stimpy! Finding joy throughout our day. Looking for things to be excited about. Putting ourselves in places, around people, and doing things we love. Stopping focusing so much on future things/events that will bring us immense joy, but rather focusing on the present ones. EnJOYing our children's giggles, our oven baked cookies, a good convo with our man, our new sitcom episode, our workout, feeding our family, flowers blooming, birds flying or music playing. Whatever it may be, let's EnJOY life a little more!

4 Things Women Need to Stop Doing

Good evening readers! I hope you all are having a great week and that you have some fun plans for the Fourth of July. This weekend I think I am most excited about turning my phone off for 4 days! We are going to visit my husband's family, so it will be just a great opportunity to clear my mind and relax. 

Back to my blog! Today I want to talk about 4 things that we women need to stop doing. Before I list out these behaviors, I want to remind you all that I am included in this and have been guilty of doing these things in the present and in the past. We are all in this together! 

God created us SO different than man it's completely obvious right?! We do so many things different than men. We talk more, are more detailed, are more intuitive, show more empathy, and the list goes on and on. We have SO many strengths as women! However, sometimes those strengths become our weaknesses. Let's work on these together by stopping these behaviors. Here is the list I have comprised of the 4 Things Women Need to Stop Doing. 

 

1. Gossip: "idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others." (dictionary.reference.com)

 

This one is a biggie. If you have never gossiped about someone, you are probably lying to yourself. We have all done it. It happens in the school cafeteria, our work break room, through social media, the grocery store, our living rooms, and pretty much everywhere where two people are in the mood to dish. Men gossip too, but I DO notice that we women gossip more.

WHY WE NEED TO STOP: Because it's none of our business. Because we could be negatively affecting that person's life. Because we are not better than anyone else.  Because it's not fair for us to do this to someone when we can't stand the thought of someone doing this to us.

 

2. Being Materialistic

 

Women, just because she has it doesn't mean we have to have it.  Women, just because she can afford it doesn't mean we can afford it.  Women, we can fit in without following the crowd.

 

3. Being Critical of Ourselves.

There are too many women believing the lies in their heads that they are not skinny or pretty enough. There are too many women that lack self worth and let others treat them poorly. There are too many women that live an unhappy life because of how hard they are on themselves. Please love yourself! You are God's creation. 

 

4. Comparing Our Relationship to Others

This is a toxic thing to do. You see your friends or family member's husband doing something your husband isn't doing. Then, before you know it, your marriage is affected because you aren't a very happy partner. Women, we need to stop doing this! Our marriages/relationships are unique from anyone else's. Our men have different strengths from each other. Let's be thankful for them and tell them what we LOVE about them! 

Let's help ourselves fight the temptation to do these 4 things. Let's talk highly of others, be ourselves, talk positive to ourselves, and focus on the good happening in our relationships. This will help us for sure!

Have a great week everyone! :)

Improving Your Prayer Life: My Struggles & Advice

The dictionary defines the noun "prayer" as "a solemn request for help or expression of thanks addressed to God or an object of worship." 

The words "pray", "prayer", or "praying" have been used collectively in scripture  hundreds of times in the bible. Different websites are showing different #'s but it seems to be a least 300 times. Prayer is very important and it is (in my opinion) a direct reflection of the closeness of our relationship with Christ. Here are just a few verses mentioning prayer. 

I have to admit that I could have a stronger prayer life. It's an area that I care deeply about improving because I realize its importance. I want to share with you some challenges I deal with when it comes to praying as well as advice (in italics) I am giving myself to help overcome these challenges. 

1. Putting prayer first. 

Do you ever forget to pray? I do. Sometimes my mind is consumed with less important thoughts and before I know it, I have fallen asleep. Or times when the best thing to do would be to seek him and pray about it, I instead just try figuring it out for myself. 

Advice: Pray in the morning or at times when you are more awake and alert (outside, in the car with Edward, etc). Remind yourself that God is more powerful that anything you could do on your own. You need Him. You owe it to him to give Him your time.

2. Staying focused. 

I have MAJOR ADD when I pray. There is not a day goes by that I don't struggle with this.

Advice: Pray to God and ask him to help keep you focused as much as possible while you pray. Picture you talking to him face to face, which will happen one day yay!!

 3.  Remembering to pray for people that I know need prayer or who I have told I will pray for. 

I have definitely forgotten to pray for people in the past, but this is something that I have improved on a lot. 

Advice: When praying for people, think about each group of people you know (family, friends, etc) and remind yourself of the ones who need prayer. 

 

4. Being open, honest, detailed and direct with God while I am praying.  

It's a very vulnerable feeling when you pour your heart out to someone. For me, for some reason, I sometimes guard myself when I pray to God. Sometimes I don't completely just let it all out like I should. 

Advice: God needs to be the closest relationship you have in your life. He loves you and wants to hear what you are dealing with. He knows EVERYTHING about you anyways, so why not just be open. 

5. Not being so redundant. 

 

"Thank you God for our house. My clothes. My opportunities. Thank you God for my family. Forgive me for my sins. I love you. Amen."

This is the prayer I used to pray for many years. They were a little bit lengthier, but this is the gist of it. Very redundant and repetitive. No conversation. Just an almost memorized prayer.

 

Advice: What if you talked to your mother or father that way each day? Said the same thing to them every day? How would they feel? Would you be close with them? No! Talk to God like you are talking to a human being you trust 110%. 

6. Praying for myself.  

I definitely don't pray for myself as much as I could. If something is bothering me, I struggle with just putting that in God's hands. My mind tries to deal with that problem instead, which in turn gives me anxiety. Also, If I am trying to reach a goal, I forget to pray for myself to ask God to help me reach it. 

Advice: You need to pray for yourself every chance you get. It's not selfish. Pray for patience. Pray for safety. Pray for your physical and mental health. Pray for any day to day struggles. 

 

7. Trusting that He is Listening. 

This is hard for me to admit. Because I don't hear another human voice replying to my prayers, every so often I (my brain NOT heart) will think "Are you there God?"

Advice: This verse says it all.

 

 My good friend once told me that her prayer life is what strengthened her relationship with God the most. I get that totally now. 

In conclusion, if you are a person of faith or are curious about God, you can Help Yourself strengthen that relationship through prayer. Praying for a sick family member. Praying for your children. Praying for yourself. Praying for you to have some clarity about your faith. Whatever the reason, all of our genuine and heart-felt prayers will be heard by our Savior. 

5 Signs You are Overspending on Groceries

 

 

by: Shannon Rubio

There are actually a lot more signs we overspend on our groceries.  This list could be SO much longer, but I narrowed it down to just 5. Becoming more aware of grocery store lingo and ways to save while shopping will make you more proud (rather than depressed) when you swipe your card to buy your groceries.  Check out these 5 signs that we overspend at the grocery store.



1. You never do BOGO deals.

Maybe you don't know what BOGO deals are. There are actually people out there that do not know what BOGO stands for. I'm not kidding. A few years ago, I taught a Couponing workshop and one of my friends my age didn't realize that is what it stood for. We still laugh about it now. I LOVE BOGO (BUY ONE GET ONE FREE) deals, especially at Publix. Publix gives you the option to buy one at half price, but Winn Dixie does not. BOGO deals are usually lower than walmart prices, so be sure to check them out. Even if you eat all organic and have a non-processed diet, you can still find BOGO's worth making a trip to the store for. My favorite BOGO's are the fruit trays, peanut butter, and chicken breasts.  
 

2. You buy the number of products listed on sale.   2/$4, 3/$5, 10/$10, etc.

This doesn't mean that you have to buy two or three or whatever # is says. Don't buy more than you can chew (ha!).  I do think it's a marketing strategy to get consumers to purchase more. It's good to know that you can buy the product individually and get that sale price. Add some coupons to these products and you'll get a super deal!

3. You automotically pick the item that is on sale. 

 

When I shop, I am scanning the aisle and looking for the best deal I can find. I don't let a sale sign determine my decision. To me, buying generic dishwasher detergent is a no brainer if it's the cheapest. I may see Cascade is on sale for $3.99, but I will be sure to check out the generic's price, which may still be lower than the sale price. If Cascade is cheaper than the generic, then heck yes that's what I'm buying. Checking all your options will get you the most bang for your buck. 

 
 

4. You don't pay attention to package size or count. 

 

You should always look at the ounces or count in the product to determine the best deal. You can usually view price per ounce or price each online when you are shopping. If you in the store, break out your calculator if you need to! 

 

If you look closely at the top of the pics, you can see that the Parent's Choice are 7 cents less per diaper. If you like this diaper brand, go for it! This strategy applies to so many items you need in a store. When buying toilet paper, compare sheets per roll. When buying peanut butter, look at ounces. This may sound crazy to do this,  but saving a little at a time will save you big in the long run. And just so you know, buying in bulk is not always the best option.

 

5. You don't use coupons in the store. 

I'm not even talking about bringing coupons to the store. Below I have listed coupons you receive & use in store.

• In Store Coupons:  These are usually located in their fliers as you walk in. Both grocery stores and pharmacies have these.

 

• Peelies:  (see pic below) These are usually found stuck to the product. You can use one per product.

 

• Blinkies: These are the coupons that you pull out of the blinking machine in the aisle.  Grab 2 if you are buying 2 containers of sour cream, for example.

 

• Catalina's: These are the coupons you get either out of the store machine or after checking out.  CVS gives out some great Catalina's!

 If you buy 2 bags of Doritos, then grab two peelies and use them at check out!  They are there for us to grab. Just don't grab 20 down the aisle :)

 

Just tonight I went to Dollar General to get some Shampoo & Conditioner. They were $3.85 each. On each tresseme bottle were 50 cent off coupons. There was also a $2 off purchase of $8 or more Tresseme products sign. I ended up knocking off $1.16 off of each bottle with the coupons and the store deal!

Think about this.  If you saved an extra $10 each week from trying these tips, then you would save your family $520 for the year! $20 a week would double that. Have a great day! 

8 Ways to be a Happier You

 

  Image source from weheartit.com 

 

by: Shannon Rubio

June 17, 2015

 

We are in control of our happiness. Here are some strategies that may help you be the happiest you've ever been. 

 

1.  Prepare Your Mind.

 

Our thoughts lead to our actions right? Starting your day off with a positive and strong mindset will affect your day for the better. Mentally prepare your mind for how you will overcome challenging situations. If you are dealing with a major life stressor right now, then wake up and tell yourself how you plan to deal with it. Here are some examples of what you can tell you yourself to get your mind ready for the day. 

 

• "I am going to have a productive day."
• "I am going to resist temptation and exhibit good self control."
• "I am going to focus on all of the good that happens to me today."

 

2.  Take Care of Your Body.

 

You may have noticed that you are a more energetic and productive person on the days you eat healthier and/or exercise.  When we cut down on sugar intake, eat fresh foods, eat smaller portions, and exercise, it can make or break our day. 

 

3. Forgive.

 

Oh forgiveness.  It is so hard to let go, stop holding that grudge, and forgive. Holding on to anger towards a person who wronged you will prevent you from being the happiest person you can be. Let's not be harder on others than we are on ourselves. Seeing the major benefit of forgiving that person in your heart will give you motivation to do so. Ask God to help you and he will do so.

 

4. Stay connected to Family & Friends.

 

Our relationships with others make up the core of our lives. Our family and friendships are everything. If we are always disconnected with the most important people to us, then how are we going to be our best?

 

5. Have Alone Time.

 

For my husband, it's playing golf.  For me, it's a pedicure, bubble bath, or in a rare moment, having the house to myself. Listen up women and men.  Usually in order for you to get your alone time, you have to make arrangements for this. Tell your spouse or family member in advance so they can prepare for it. Even if you get only 15 minutes to yourself, it will still give you a little re-charge and calm your mood.

 

6. Volunteer to Help.

 

How often do we sacrifice our time to help people, our church, our organizations, etc.? Volunteering your time to help others will make you feel useful, productive and happy. 

 

7. Make Yourself Proud.

We tend to have more self-worth when we are accomplished. This could be anything from being caught up on laundry to nailing an important work presentation. Setting and then accomplishing your goals will satisfy you for sure.

 

8. Be Thankful.

 

Thinking about what we don't have is toxic. Be thankful EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.  If you pray, thank God for specifics in your life, even it's for air conditioning.  If everything seems to be crumbling, make a list of 20 blessings in your life. This will get you back on track.

Stop, Drop & Help!

Good afternoon readers. I am so thankful that you are reading this and giving me your precious time. I hope your weekend was fabulous!

If you are a friend of mine, you know from speaking with me or Facebook newsfeed (sorry!) that I spent my weekend with family celebrating my son's 3rd birthday. This year I decided to do a low maintenance party for Edward. It was SO nice.   Here is what I did NOT do:

• Send out Invitations
• Pay for a venue
• Make a cake
• Stress out!

It was refreshing not putting myself in the usual high-pressure-of-having-a-perfect-party mode. Edward had fun and that's all that mattered!

Let's change gears a bit and rewind back to an hour before the party.  There were three stops we had to make before getting to the splash pad. We had to get...

1. Ice
2. Pizza
3. Balloons

After picking up our Little Caesars pizza's, we were finally on our way to stop #3!  I get so impatient at fun times like this, so I was anxious to knock out these stops.  After taking the exit, we couldn't help but notice a homeless man standing there holding a sign asking for food. As our car got closer to him, I remember reading the sign hoping that he was asking for something we could give him.

The light was about to turn green, so my husband and I had to make a quick decision on how to help this man. Kiel and I looked at each other and without speaking made an easy decision.  Pizza! We could help by giving him some of the pizza we picked up at our second stop!  Kiel jumped out of the car, grabbed 4 slices, grabbed some napkins and then jumped back in just in time to get onto HWY 181. All of this was in a 30 second time span. We drove off and headed to stop #3 with little smiles on our face.  I think I said something girly and sappy like "Aww, I'm glad we got to help." It felt good to help this person.

I have never helped a homeless person, but each time I see someone homeless, which is not often here, I want to help. I no longer think these things...

• He's drunk
• He's going to scheme me for money
• Lock the door
• He's lazy

The influence of my Counseling career and my relationship with God has given me more compassion for others. I instead think "He/she has a story".  We all do. 

If we would have both made assumptions about this person, we would've had 4 more slices of pizza in our car.  Although we didn't give him pizza for us to feel good about ourselves, I admit that it felt great to help someone in this kind of situation. I spend all of my day making sure my family is taken care of, so giving this person a meal just felt natural and right.

What are some ways you can lift someone up and make someone's day, week, or even year? I can't think of a better way for us to start off our week than by doing this.  We (myself included) need to stop focusing so much on our needs and instead look around for ways we can help. If we see signs to help we need to stop, drop what we are doing and help. This will only help ourselves. Have a great Monday!